


Dumpster Diving

by QuirkyNeon (iforgetlikeanelephant)



Series: Wade's Bad at Feelings [1]
Category: Deadpool - All Media Types, Spider-Man - All Media Types
Genre: Anal Sex, Blow Jobs, Dirty Talk, M/M, Oral Sex, Wade's an idiot, and not good with feelings, light kink, masked sex, suicidal ideation (it's deadpool tho so), unprotected anal sex
Language: English
Status: Completed
Published: 2017-10-21
Updated: 2017-10-21
Packaged: 2019-01-20 15:51:19
Rating: Explicit
Warnings: No Archive Warnings Apply
Chapters: 1
Words: 4,695
Publisher: archiveofourown.org
Story URL: https://archiveofourown.org/works/12436167
Author URL: https://archiveofourown.org/users/iforgetlikeanelephant/pseuds/QuirkyNeon
Summary: {Why are we hiding from Spider-Man again?}Because we tried to kiss him, Wade thinks back, loudly,we saved him from that big mother fucker and then tried to kiss him.{Oh, right, you got molesty and now you’re not going to take what you deserve.}“I didn’t get molesty!” Wade yells and then he hears the sound of feel landing on the top of the dumpster and great,great asshole, you’re the actual worst thing in my life.{Suuuuure, you didn’t! You totally didn’t pucker up and then scream like a bitch when you realized what you were doing, not at all. And I’m the worst!}“You’re an asshole,” Wade says as the lid to the dumpster is lifted, Spider-Man’s masked face poking into the opening.“That’s a rude thing to say to someone that you just tried to kiss,” Spider-Man says as he pushes the lid of the dumpster so that it slams against the alley wall and God dammit, hedidget molesty.





	Dumpster Diving

{ _ Mah nam a nah do do do do do mah nam a nah _ }

 

“Please, for all that is holy,  _ please _ stop with that song,” Wade says as he bangs his head on the wall of the alley he’s standing in. He would say  _ hiding _ but he refuses to say that he’s hiding, Wade Wilson doesn’t  _ hide _ . 

 

“Deadpool! Where are you?” The voice that calls for him is loud and yep, he’s changing what he just said a moment ago, he’s  _ definitely _ hiding. He jumps into the dumpster that is a few feet away, more like  _ dives,  _ and grimaces even as he tries to keep himself quiet. 

 

{ _ Why are we hiding from Spider-Man again? _ }

 

_ Because we tried to kiss him _ , Wade thinks back, loudly,  _ we saved him from that big mother fucker and then tried to kiss him _ . 

 

{ _ Oh, right, you got molesty and now you’re not going to take what you deserve. _ }

 

“I didn’t get molesty!” Wade yells and then he hears the sound of feel landing on the top of the dumpster and great,  _ great asshole, you’re the actual worst thing in my life. _

 

{ _ Suuuuure, you didn’t! You totally didn’t pucker up and then scream like a bitch when you realized what you were doing, not at all. And  _ **_I’m_ ** _ the worst! _ }

 

“You’re an asshole,” Wade says as the lid to the dumpster is lifted, Spider-Man’s masked face poking into the opening. 

 

“That’s a rude thing to say to someone that you just tried to kiss,” Spider-Man says as he pushes the lid of the dumpster so that it slams against the alley wall and God dammit, he  _ did _ get molesty.

 

Wade groans and tries to bury himself more in the garbage  _ where he belongs _ . “I wasn’t calling  _ you _ an asshole, and I’m sorry I got molesty,” he says as he’s pulling a trash bag over his legs, making himself at home. 

 

Spider-Man’s eye lenses do a weird thing as he says, “It’s only molesty if I wasn’t cool with it. And I mean, I wasn’t cool with the scream you made before you started running away but other than  _ that _ I was. Cool, that is, I was cool.”

 

{ _ And you think you’re smooth! That’s the dumbest thing I’ve ever-wait, what? Spidey say what? _ }

 

“Spidey say what?” Wade repeats, blinking through his mask at Spider-Man, “I’m sorry, I couldn’t hear you over the voice in my head but I’m pretty sure you just said you were  _ cool with it _ .” He shakes his head and grabs another bag of garbage, putting this one on his chest as he adds, “Or this is a very convincing hallucination, of which I’ve had a few. I don’t usually hide from my hallucinations in the  _ garbage _ though, unless you count that one time I was in Jersey and—”

 

“Deadpool, stop covering yourself in garbage,” Spider-Man says and Wade looks at him as he plops a banana peel onto his own head. 

 

{ _ Is it just as funny to see someone with a banana peel on their head as it is to see someone slip on a banana peel? Or does it look like a very sad attempt at a hat? It’s our depression hat, our shame hat, our new Look _ .}

 

“Get out of the dumpster,” Spider-Man says and oh, Spidey used his fighting bad guys voice, the voice that makes Wade’s bones go all shaky and  _ that’s _ exciting. 

 

“No can do, baby boy, I’m in my shame hat right now,” Wade says, shaking his head and pointing at the banana peel on his head. 

 

Wade can’t see Spider-Man’s no doubt beautiful face, but the exasperation is very obvious in the tilt of his head. He raises a hand from the edge of the dumpster and Wade hopes that he’s going to close it on him because Wade needs a moment alone in his new home. Spider-Man doesn’t but instead he presses his middle and ring fingers to his palm and Wade blinks at the soft  _ thunk _ the banana peel makes as it’s webbed up to the side of the dumpster. “What shame hat?” Spider-Man says and Wade hears the eyebrow raise in the question. 

 

“The one you just webbed off of my head,” Wade says dumbly, “Spidey, just leave me to my shame.”

 

“Get out of the dumpster, Deadpool,” Spider-Man repeats and he sounds annoyed and yes,  _ this _ Wade can work with, he’s  _ used _ to annoyed Spidey. Wade is about to answer, to say something no doubt amazingly witty and sarcastic, when Spider-Man jumps into the dumpster  _ with _ him which is so……?

 

{ _ Red alert: Spider-Man is doing too much, what the hell is going on? _ }

 

“Spidey, don’t get on my level,” Wade warns, “It’s a dark place full of garbage and shame hats.”

 

Spider-Man moves the garbage bag off of Wade’s lap and replaces it with  _ himself  _ and it’s feeling more and more like a hallucination. Wade reaches for his handgun and Spider-Man grabs his wrists, both of them, in a tight grip, pinning them above his head against the back of the dumpster. “Deadpool, what are you doing?” He asks, and Wade watches the eyes on his mask narrow.

 

“I was going to shoot myself in the head, to get the hallucination to stop,” Wade answers honestly, shrugging as Spider-Man makes a loud noise in the back of his throat. 

 

“You’re  _ not _ hallucinating,  _ Jesus _ , Deadpool,” Spider-Man’s hands are tight on his wrists and Wade kind of wants to disappear into the bottom of the dumpster and also kind of wants Spider-Man to hold his wrists tighter, wants to feel his bones  _ snap  _ under Spider-Man’s grip and  _ fuck _ , talk about morbid. 

 

{ _ That’s what a hallucination would say _ }

 

“That’s what a hallucination would say,” Wade echoes Yellow as Spider-Man lets go of his wrists, shaking his head. 

 

Spider-Man sighs and Wade is hopeful that this is the dumb thing he says that will make him go away and leave Wade to his shame. “Deadpool, you’re not hallucinating, and I don’t really know how to convince you that you’re  _ not _ hallucinating so can you just take my word for it?” Spider-Man sounds  _ sad _ and that’s…that’s not what Wade wants  _ at all _ . 

 

“Don’t be sad, Spidey,” Wade says, rotating his wrists at his side as Spider-Man settles against his knees, still in his lap, “I always take your word for everything.”

 

“You tried to kiss me,” Spider-Man says and Wade reaches for another trash bag, not making it very far before Spider-Man grabs his wrist again, stopping him. “Stop trying to bury yourself in trash,” he says, shaking his head, “ _ Please _ , Deadpool, I’m serious.”

 

“No, you’re  _ Spider-Man _ ,” he says easily, because he never misses a moment for a good Harry Potter reference. “I  _ said _ I was sorry,” Wade says, frowning under his mask. 

 

“And  _ I  _ said don’t be,” Spider-Man says, his fingers tight around Wade’s wrist.

 

“No you didn’t,” he argues because he didn’t, not really.

 

Spider-Man snorts out a laugh, ducking his head slightly. “Alright  _ fine _ , I’m telling you now, don’t be sorry. I  _ do _ think I said I was cool with it though,” he says and Wade is surprised at how strong his voice is. 

 

“And that’s very kind of you,” Wade says, and now he’s  _ confused _ . Why the hell is Spider-Man being so serious about this? So Wade tried to kiss him, that doesn’t mean he needs to sit on him in a dumpster. 

 

{ _ Maybe he’s finally going to kill us. D’you think he could actually kill us? I think he could actually kill us. _ }

 

He’s about to say something fucking  _ amazing  _ but Spider-Man is pulling the bottom of his mask off and he panics. “Shush, I’m not taking it all the way off,” Spider-Man says and he doesn’t, he folds the bottom of Wade’s mask up just past his nostrils as he leans back slightly. Wade doesn’t know what to do, even when he and Spidey have eaten together he hides his mouth pretty well behind his own hand so this is the first time that Spider-Man has seen any part of his face and he’s  _ terrified _ . 

 

Spidey then does something that blows Wade’s mind, he folds up the bottom of his own mask. “What are you doing?” Wade asks as Spider-Man settles his hands on his shoulders, his thumbs pressing against Wade’s collarbones. 

 

“You know, your kiss was kind of poorly thought out, you didn’t even have your mask pushed up so I got a mouth full of leather,” Spider-Man says and Wade is blinking quickly because this literally feels like one of the multitude of dreams he’s had in the past. 

 

{ _ No fucking way, man. this guy is harassing us about our kissing skillz? The nerve! The audacity! The…holy shit he’s gonna kiss us, dude, play it cool. _ }

 

Wade doesn’t know what to do with his hands, he wants to push Spider-Man off of him, run away and hide, but he also wants to tug him closer, feel him pressed against him through their costumes and  _ that’s _ nothing new at least. “Spidey, you don’t really wanna…” He trails off, because he can’t even  _ say  _ ‘kiss me’, it’s too crazy, even for  _ him _ . 

 

“If  _ you _ don’t want me to I won’t,” Spider-Man says and Wade can’t believe his luck as he watches Spidey lick his lips as his fingers dig into Wade’s shoulders, “But I  _ do _ want to. I mean, I’d rather not do it in a goddamn  _ dumpster _ but I’ll take what I can get.”

 

{ _ Well we can fix the dumpster thing, let’s fucking teleport the fuck outta here! Hope it doesn’t decide that tonight is the night to be a moody bitch! _ }

 

Wade blinks at that and then reaches onto is belt, pressing the button on his teleporter and really hoping that it actually decides to work tonight. It does, thankfully, but not  _ completely _ and so Wade ends up sprawled on the floor of his messy living room, the air knocked out of him as Spider-Man sputters above him. “Not in a goddamn dumpster,” Wade says as he struggles to breathe, his eyes opening while he tilts his head down slightly, looking at Spider-Man straddling his hips. “I mean, not  _ much _ of a dumpster,” he corrects as he spots a week old pizza box out of the corner of his eye. 

 

“What the  _ fuck _ ?” Spider-Man sounds confused and oh, Wade never actually told him that he could do that, did he?

 

“Teleporter belt,” Wade explains, “Press a button,  _ boom _ , somewhere else. I know my apartment isn’t like, the  _ nicest,  _ and I was aiming for my _ bed  _ but you said you didn’t want to be in the dumpster anymore and—”

 

Wade was so lost in talking that he missed Spider-Man leaning forward, but it’s hard to miss when the other man is kissing him square on the mouth. Wade’s hands immediately go to Spider-Man’s hips, his fingers gripping tight as he tilts his head back, deepening the kiss. 

 

{ _ If this  _ **_is_ ** _ a hallucination might as well get our money’s worth _ .} 

 

“You smell like garbage,” Spider-Man says into the kiss and Wade cackles, rolling them so that he’s pushing Spider-Man into the carpet, hovering over him. 

 

“I was hiding from you in a dumpster, that you then jumped into with me, so you’re not smelling like daisies either, Spidey,” Wade says as he shifts his hips, Spider-Man’s legs wrapping around his hips and pressing their erections together. 

 

Spider-Man pulls him back down into a kiss and Wade rotates his hips, pulling a sound from Spidey that makes his spine tingle. “You’re more into this than I thought you would be considering you ran away from me after trying to kiss me,” Spidey says as Wade drops his mouth from his to his throat, dragging his teeth against his pulse point. 

 

“I’m still not sure this is real,” Wade says, sucking a mark onto Spider-Man’s throat, leaving a bright red spot that makes his toes curl when he gazes at it, “But I decided to go with it instead of questioning it. Go with the flooowww.” Spider-Man flips them again, grabbing Wade’s wrists and holding them above his head which is so, “Spidey, I didn’t know you were into kinky stuff.”

 

Spider-Man grins down at him and the grin is something feral, it’s less happy looking and more like he’s about to eat Wade for a snack. Not, of course, that Wade is complaining. “There’s a lot you don’t know about me, Deadpool,” he says, his voice deep, and Wade feels a little breathless as the fingers on his wrists tighten. “And I can promise you, this is  _ very _ real,” he says, grinding down and Wade swears he feels his heart stop when Spider-Man leans back down again, kissing him messily. 

 

Wade doesn’t try to move his arms, letting Spider-Man hold him down, as he shifts his hips up, groaning when Spider-Man catches his bottom lip between his teeth. He rotates his hips and Wade is so turned on he can’t even  _ think  _ as he says, “Spidey, pal, if we keep this up I’m gonna jizz in my suit like a  _ teenager _ .” 

 

Wade keeps his hands where they are when Spider-Man lets go of his wrists, dragging his fingers from Wade’s wrists to his chest, settling his hands there as he lets out a breathy laugh. “Me too,” Spider-Man replies and Wade feels like his next breath is punched out of him when Spider-Man grinds down on him, his head tilting back slightly. 

 

{ _ Jesus, he’s really into this isn’t he? _ } 

 

Wade drinks in how Spider-Man looks above him because he’s positive,  _ absolutely sure,  _ that this is never happening again.  _ There’s no way.  _ “Baby boy,” he says, voice wrecked, and the moan that Spidey lets out as he works against him is  _ amazing.  _

 

_ “Fuck _ ,” Wade is surprised when Spidey curses because he  _ never _ curses, “Please, w-would you just  _ touch me _ ?”

 

He moves his hands to Spidey’s waist so fast that his shoulders pop and he sits up, Spider-Man firmly in his lap. “Sure you won’t disappear as soon as I touch you?” Wade asks, because that’s the biggest reason he hasn’t, he’s nervous that he’s going to vanish in front of him. 

 

“Jesus, ‘pool,  _ yes _ ,” Wade is surprised when Spider-Man grabs one of his wrists, dragging Wade’s hand from his waist to the front of his suit, Wade’s fingers curling lightly over the bulge of Spider-Man’s cock and  _ fuck _ , now it’s Wade’s turn to curse. 

 

After that it’s pretty much a blur. Wade’s one hand is on Spider-Man’s cock, and his other is gripping his ass, holding him as Spider-Man gasps into his mouth. “Baby boy, I’ve thought about this so much,” Wade says as Spidey’s fingers spasm on his shoulders, “Thought about getting you off like this, getting you off on my  _ cock _ .” 

 

The sound that Spider-Man makes at  _ that _ is enough to fuel twelve hundred fantasies. “Yeah, yes, please,” Spider-Man says and Wade isn’t sure he means it, not really. Not until Spider-Man is tipping himself backward, dragging Wade on top of him as his back hits the carpet and he starts pawing at Wade’s utility belt. “Please tell me you have lube in that stupid fucking belt,” he says, sprawling his legs open and Wade can’t help but settle between them, grinding their erections together and biting back his own groan. 

 

“I-no but,” he reaches toward the couch and shoves his hand between the cushions, pulling out a half used bottle of lube with a victorious sound, waving it at Peter as he holds it between his fingers, “Couch lube! I don’t have couch condoms but I also can’t carry or transmit anything so…”

 

Spider-Man laughs, and grabs the lube from Wade, dropping the bottle by his hip on the floor and pulling Wade back down into a kiss. “That’s fine, messy and I’ll have to use your shower, but fine,” he says into the kiss, “Now take your fucking pants off.”

 

“Oh no, baby boy,” Wade shakes his head as he sneaks his fingers between Spider-Man’s pants and his hip, dragging them down, “My pants are staying on because there’s some stuff going on under this suit that no one needs to see.” Spidey doesn’t really put up a large fight so maybe he’s heard about Wade { _ Or maybe he doesn’t want to see us as anything other than a cock anyway _ } as he drags the bottom half of Spidey’s suit down his legs, balling it up and tossing it over his shoulder as he settles between his bare legs, looking down at his hard cock and  _ Jesus _ . “I knew you filled out your suit well but  _ damn,  _ Spidey, you’re  _ hung, _ ” he can’t help it, he ducks down and wraps his lips around the head of Spider-Man’s cock which apparently he wasn’t expecting because one of his legs kicks out and he gasps. 

 

“ _ Jesus _ , ‘pool,” Wade can see Spidey’s fingers digging into the carpet by his hips and he sinks down a bit more on the cock in his mouth, humming as he feels the head hit the back of his throat. 

 

He’s got Spidey distracted enough with his mouth that he cracks the lube open and messily manages to get some onto his fingers, spreading it before he drags one finger against Spider-Man’s tight entrance and gets another moan for his troubles. Wade eases one finger into the body beneath him, and then two, and then when Spidey is practically  _ begging _ he adds a third. “ _ C’mon _ , fuck me already,” Spidey says and Wade looks up at him, cock still in his mouth.

 

Wade eases off of his cock and Spidey whines as Wade scissors his fingers slightly. “You’re not the only one that’s hung under their suit,” he teases lightly, and he’s not bragging he’s just  _ aware _ that perhaps two fingers wouldn’t be enough prep for someone of Wade’s ah,  _ size.  _

 

_ “Please _ ,” Spidey is practically writhing under his hand and mouth and Wade swears, pressing his forehead against Spidey’s hip as he undoes his belt, tossing it to the side and opening his pants, pushing them down just enough that none of his junk is  _ uncomfortable  _ but he’s still covered up.

 

Wade digs his teeth into the thin skin on Spidey’s hip, sucking a mark that’s bright red as he twists his hand on his cock. “I would say to stop your begging but really, I wouldn’t be against hearing more,” Wade says as he releases his bite, laving his tongue over the mark on Spidey’s hip. 

 

“Deadpool,” Spider-Man says, catching his attention with a hand wrapping around the back of his neck, pulling him up and away from his hip, “If you don’t get your cock in my ass right now I am going to rip it off of you and use it as a dildo.” Wade cackles at that and leans down, kissing Spidey until he’s pliant and arching up against him, his fingers tight on the back of Wade’s neck. 

 

{ _ Told you he doesn’t see us as anything other than a cock! We’re being  _ **_used_ ** _ , Wade! Like a  _ **_toy_ ** _! _ }

 

“Promise, promises,” Wade says as he pulls back from the kiss, rocking back on his heels and grabs the lube with one hand. He looks between the hand on his cock and the other hand holding the lube, decides that he doesn’t have enough hands, and so he squirts some lube on Spider-Man’s stomach.

 

“Jesus  _ Christ _ ,” Spider-Man gasps out, “Fucking  _ cold! _ ” 

 

“Oops, sorry, baby boy,” Wade says, grinning as he drops the lube back onto the floor, dragging his hand through the small puddle of lube on Spider-Man’s stomach and using it to slick his cock. “Didn’t have enough hands! What else was I supposed to do?” He’s leaning back over Spider-Man, the hand not holding the base of his cock pressing against the floor by Spider-Man’s head, grinning down at him as Spidey wraps his legs around his waist. 

 

“I have two workable hands,” Spidey grumbles and it’s  _ cute _ , so Wade leans down and kisses him, swallowing the sound that Spider-Man makes as he presses his cock into him. 

 

Wade keeps the kissing up until he’s fully in Spider-Man’s ass and  _ Jesus _ , he’s thought about this too often to really believe it’s actually happening. “But I just wanted to make you messy, Spidey, want to  _ ruin _ you,” he feels like he’s yelling into the void a bit, his voice dropped so low that it’s gravely as Spidey arches up into him, his hands gripping his shoulders so tightly that Wade’s not entirely sure he’s not going to end up with broken bones. If he’s being used as a toy he might as well  _ enjoy it _ . 

 

At least that’s what he’s thinking as he shifts onto his heels again, pressing Spidey’s legs into the air, nearly bending him in half. “ _ Pool _ ,” Spider-Man sounds wrecked as he settles his calves on Wade’s shoulders, Wade’s fingers digging into his muscled thighs as he fucks into him. “Jesus you’re good, so good,” his hands are back on the ground, his fingers twisting in the carpet as Wade rotates his hips and Spidey swears, loudly.

 

“Yeah? You like my cock, baby boy?” Wade asks, his breathing shallow as he watches Spider-Man’s mouth open and close wordlessly, wishing for a moment that he could lean down and rip his mask off, see his eyes as he fucks him. 

 

{ _ Pretty sure we’d spontaneously combust if we saw Spidey’s eyes at this point _ }

 

Yellow’s probably right, he thinks as he watches Spider-Man writhe beneath him, feeling him tighten on his cock. “I bet you could come like this,” Wade says, picking up his pace, “Just from my cock, hands free, baby. Spider-baby, you feel so  _ good _ .”

 

“Yeah,  _ yes _ , wanna come just from this,” Spidey says and Wade groans, pressing his mouth to the inside of Spidey’s knee. ” _ Fuck _ , knew you’d be good,” he definitely doesn’t seam like he meant to say that out loud if the way he bites his lip and drapes an arm over his face is any indication.

 

“Yeah? Think about this often, do ya?” Wade teases as he slows his hips, pulling out almost completely and then sinking back into Spider-Man. He grins at the moan that Spidey lets out, loud enough that even muffled against his bicep it’s loud. Wade breathes out, pressing his hips against Spider-Man’s ass, “I’ve thought about this, knew you’d be so pretty taking my cock, so  _ pliable _ .”

 

“I—I— _ Deadpool _ ,” Spider-Man is babbling, and Wade can’t believe that he’s managed to get the other man to this because it’s just…unbelievable. Wade can’t  _ believe _ that he’s getting Spidey to babble like this. “Thought about you doing this on patrols, bending me over and fucking  _ wrecking me _ , making me take your big cock,” Wade feels his balls draw up slightly at Spider-Man’s words because  _ fuck _ . 

 

“Yeah?” Wade leans forward slightly, bending Spider-Man even more and getting a choked off gasp in return, “Want me to fuck you on a stakeout? Pull you on my cock and make you take it when you have to be quiet?  _ God,  _ baby boy, I want to keep you in my bed, fuck you every day, fuck you until you’re weak and  _ begging _ .” 

 

“Yes, yes, please,  _ yes _ ,” Spidey is babbling still, one hand flying up to grab Wade’s shoulder, digging into the muscle as he falls silent. His mouth is moving and Wade is sure that in his  _ head _ he’s saying things but he’s not  _ actually _ saying anything. It’s great, he thinks as he fucks into Spider-Man harder, being able to drive him to silent pleas. Spidey’s shoulders are digging into the carpet and his back is arched as Wade grabs him by the hip, changing the angle just  _ so _ and forcing a sound that’s pretty close to a sob from Spidey’s lungs. “G-God, I’m close, so close,” he says and Wade tightens his hands on Spidey’s hips, pulling him up and down his cock at a rapid pace, listening to the crescendoing sounds that the man below him is making.  

 

Wade can tell when he’s just tipping over the edge because Spider-Man’s mouth snaps shut and the hand on his shoulder tightens enough that Wade’s pretty sure he hears the sharp  _ snap _ of his collarbone. Not that he  _ cares _ , not while Spidey is so tight on his cock that he has to remind himself to breathe. “Yeah, baby boy, want you to come for me,” Wade says, rotating his hips  _ once, twice _ , and then mentally celebrating when Spidey does as he said with a shout, coming on his own stomach and chest without having touched his cock.  _ Fuck _ , that’s enough for Wade to follow in a handful of strokes, biting at the thin skin of Spidey’s knee as he comes in him, the tang of blood sharp on his tongue. 

 

He’s smart enough to let Spider-Man’s legs down slowly from his shoulders before he collapses forward, probably squishing the man below him as he tries to catch his breath. Wade can feel Spidey’s hands on his back, over the leather of his costume, and he has a moment of regret that he’s still fully clothed. “Jesus,” Spidey breathes and Wade can’t help but grin, pressing a sloppy kiss against the throat that’s bare in front of him. 

 

“Good?” Wade asks, reaching down and easing his cock out of Spidey, leaning back to tuck himself into his pants.

 

“So good,” Spidey says as he looks up at Wade and again, he’s happy that he can’t see his eyes because he’s sure that they’re alluring enough that Wade would dive back in and make good on his quest to keep Spidey tied up in his bed. “ _ Seeing _ your cock might have made it better but I’m not going to look a gift horse in the mouth,” Spidey smirks slightly as he speaks and Wade just shakes his head. 

 

{ _ He just used you for sex, that’s all you’re good for. And wanting to see your cock? Yeah fucking  _ **_right_ ** _ , he’d gag and run for the hills. No one wants to see any part of you  _ **_ever._ ** }

 

Ah yes, there’s the instant regret. Wade wondered how long it would take for that to kick in, good to know even Yellow doesn’t take a night off. “ _ Right _ ,” Wade snorts out a laugh, “No one wants to see that, to see  _ me _ .” And Wade, he really needs to stop saying his thoughts out loud.

 

Spider-Man pushes himself up onto his elbows, his legs still sprawled on either side of Wade. “Are you  _ serious _ ?” His tone is tense, and Wade watches as his jaw twitches when he snaps his mouth shut before he continues, “Deadpool, I just  _ begged for your cock _ , and you’re still going to sit there and act like I don’t want to see any part of you?”

 

Wade snorts and rolls his eyes, “Yes, Spidey, that’s  _ exactly _ what I’m saying. You might have begged for my  _ cock  _ but you didn’t beg to see a goddamn  _ travesty of flesh _ .” 

 

Spider-Man makes a sound that sounds like a growl and he pushes to his feet, his knees shaky as he stands above Wade. “You know what? _Fuck you_ , Deadpool. _Christ_ , I kissed you! I begged for your _cock!_ What more does a guy have to do to get it through your thick fuckin’ skull that he wants to _know_ _you_?” He sounds angry and Wade feels properly chastised as he snatches his pants off of the floor, struggling into them as he continues to glare at Wade. “I’m _done_ , until you’ve figured out how to get your _head_ out of your _ass_ I am done being around you, Deadpool. I’m _done_. I can’t do this—this _mooning_ thing, not when you’re being so goddamn _obtuse_!” Spider-Man sounds _pissed_ , but also…weepy? And Wade doesn’t know what’s just happened as he watches Spidey storm out of his apartment, slamming the door behind him as he goes. 

 

{ _ Way to go fucknuts, you scared off the only person that can deal with your shitty existence _ .}

 

_ Yeah well _ , Wade thinks as he stares at the closed door and tries to will Spider-Man back into existence on the other side,  _ that’s my goddamn luck _ . 

**Author's Note:**

> This started off and it was just gonna be a cute first kiss fic I _swear_ but then _things_ happened and well, you read the results


End file.
